So, yeah. It's been almost a year and lots has changed.

Since moving to New England, I've not been able to place my finger on what has really led me to leaving my job in Virginia, the home I owned (with a VERY affordable mortgage), and the friends I acquired over the eight years that I lived there. What I do know is that every thing happens for a very good reason. There are always lessons to learn.

I moved here for a job that I thought I wanted. The pay was really good - so that was a nice incentive. However, I just never felt like it was what I wanted to do. It's what I knew how to do but I was disinterested in all that it was offering me. Normally, I could fall back into a routine that allowed me to have bits of personal joy. That came in the form of helping people learn new things, creating experiences, and planning (cool) events for all to enjoy. Well, I rarely got the opportunity to do that in the 18 months I worked at the community college. So... I bounced.

Where I bounced to is a private school that has a certain level of prestige. That was appealing to me with the hope of being able to do the things I enjoyed so that I could light up my quickly shrinking joy-filled heart. It's been nearly nine months. I had one shining moment in the form of planning Family Weekend. I really loved doing that. I got energized doing that. But, that's really about the only thing that put a little joy back in my heart.

It's been weeks since that joy was in my heart. I've been trying to find ways to put it back in. To fill my bucket back up so that I can be the one that fills the buckets of my staff. My bucket has been depleted. Okay, that was dramatic. It's has a few holes in it.  One or two holes are leaking a little more rapidly than the others.

I've been introspecive for weeks. Are the problems that exist in the office due to my not knowing what to do to help change that? I decided it's not. Those dynamics existed before I got there. However, I feel some level of responsibility because the staff look to me for that leadership. While the responsibility lies with me to begin to address it, I don't know if I really ever wanted it.  This is something I really have to continue thinking about. Life decisions are hard, y'all!

There is an on-going situation I'm dealing with staff-wise that is taking me through so many emotions. I've been questioning my move to New England almost since moving here in 2016.
My choice to leave a better paying job for a percieved better professional experience (that can be defined in so many ways). Wondering if I should even stay in higher education and student affairs in general. I've even toyed around with going back to teaching art. Actually, I'm seriously considering it. I do love art. I love teaching students and watching them learn new things. I love coaching people through decisions. I love creating. The brighter element in all of this is me having met my partner of two years here. But even that seems to be affected on some level by all of these things I'm trying to manage professionally.

I've watched several friends that I know from the world of student affairs leap into new career paths this year. There is something thrilling about that idea to me. What would that look like? What would it feel like? Would I get to go home at a regular time? Would I find myself with more time to take care of myself?  That last one came up after I went to a doctor appointment today. They always ask if I'm exercising. I am not. I did when I worked at the community college, though! hahaha

On the brighter side of things...I started a candle business and it's going pretty well! I got a great raise from a company that uses me to produce graphic design projects for their trade shows - If I worked for them full time, I'd be making six figures! And my Etsy shop is doing pretty well.

This rambling post is brought to you by the letters U, G, and H. 

Put One Foot In Front of the Other...

The holiday season just passed and I totally forgot that I started writing this entry for my RE-ENTRY back into blogging. I wrote it in December of 2016. So, yeah, over a year when I wrote it and I realize I need to get back to it. I'll leave much of this post as it was when I originally wrote it.

I have PLENTY of stories, thoughts, situations I struggle with, and questions I'll pose to the readers. Still tryin' to self-actualizin' since '75!

The title of this blog comes from one of my favorite Christmas stop-animation movies, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". You know, the one that has the Winter Warlock having his cold heart warmed by Kris Kringle.

Anyhow, I was thinking about this blog. It's been 4 (now 5) years since my last post! Much has changed. For one, I left my job as the Associate Director of Student Involvement after 8 years and took on a new opportunity as the Director of Student Engagement. There's a good amount of learning, growth, skill refinement, professional development, and managing the unknown here. I went from working at a large four-year institution in a large metropolitan to working at a small community college in New England. Talk about cha-cha-cha-changes!

I thought it was a good time to get back to this blog. When I started the blog I was embarking on a job search that would take me from Las Vegas to the metro Washington D.C. area. That was over 8 years ago. Now I find myself exploring life in another state (full of people who aren't the best drivers but who are surprisingly friendly!).

There are great benefits, opportunities, and challenges to working at any school. I think I'm feeling that even more now since I've spent most of my professional career in a traditional collegiate experience. There are no sports teams, no real programming spaces, processes oftentimes feel archaic (1980s y'all!), the money is extra tight (tighter than pantyhose two sizes too small!), and everything needs to be blessed by everyone.

I plan to take y'all on my journey as often as I possibly can. I know many of you haven't had the experience of working at a community college. Some of you have yet to fill the shoes of a director position.  However, I'm pretty sure that much of what I talk about though will be relateable and hopefully helpful. It won't be a "Whoa is me" type of blog. That's not my style. It's more of my journey to be the best professional human being I possibly can. Putting one foot in front of the other.