Reverse Telecommuting

I saw this in my email from Urban Dictionary and it made me laugh.

Happy (reverse) Telecommuting!

January 11, 2008: reverse telecommuting

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=reverse+telecommuting&defid=245803

Bringing personal work to the office: paying bills, playing games and reading online newspapers on company time ([OCT]).

The Lessons We Teach

I was sent this video from a friend.  It's crazy to think of the things that people do and say out of fear.  I was thinking about this because I have a childhood friend who is pretty right-winged with his beliefs.  He and I go back and forth on issues and the whole immigration issue was one of them (among other things).  

Working in student affairs, I think I've become... wait.. I KNOW I've become more accepting of things, more knowledgeable of people's feelings, and more politically correct - and we all know that this can sometimes be taken wrong by those who don't understand why I/we choose to use certain words. I am often dubbed a liberal. I'm okay with that.

I was thinking about how I now, since becoming a student affairs practitioner, have become an advocate for so many things and find myself sharing what I've learned not only with the students I work with, but also with my family, friends and acquaintances.  

• Instead of assuming someone is married to a man or a woman and saying husband and wife - we say partner or spouse. 
• Instead of saying someone is black, people will say African-American (although I still ONLY say black - because I did not immigrate from Africa). 
• Instead of saying Merry Christmas, we say Happy Holidays.
• Etc. etc.... 

In the last 5 years, I find myself advocating for things that aren't even related to me. Be it someone's religious beliefs, to the poor, the homeless, beggars on the street, people who are extremely different from myself and so forth.  There was a lesson that I learned from Mr. Wagner in 5th grade. To give people the benefit of the doubt (although it was most often related to when we scored classmate's tests and quizzes). 

After having watched the video, I started to think about how we try to educate our students. I plan to spark a discussion with them to get them to think more about more important matters than what's happening with Britney Spears or how the next episode of a reality show is so intense.  

I give the people in the video the benefit of the doubt.  My first instinct was to think, "Wow, these people are crazy!". Then I thought about how they're not so much crazy as they are afraid. I also don't perceive them to necessarily be racist but they are wanting self-preservation. All of this comes from not being aware of how the other side feels.  One of the lessons I learned in life is to place myself in someone else's shoes before I make a judgement.  What would I do and how would I feel?

Watch the video and think about how you're doing your part to teach the lessons you've learned to the students you work with. 

Just something to think about.

The 80/20 Rule in Student Affairs

There was once a time when interviewing scared the crap out of me. Now it's just a matter of speaking my truths and not really trying to impress but just being your impressive self. Don't get me wrong, a phone interview is still an awkward time no matter how seasoned you might be but the campus interview is the clincher!

I'm closing in on my seventh year in the field of student affairs. I still love programming. It's a natural high for me. I thrive on seeing students have a great time. In this seventh year I am getting "the itch" and new job opportunities are my Marilyn Monroe. If you don't get that reference, then you're probably much younger than I and don't know old Hollywood.

I liken what I'm experiencing to adultery - you know... having a job I enjoy (80% of the time) and seeking out something that looks more appealing to fulfill my needs. If you didn't get the "Seven Year Itch" reference, maybe this more current reference will work. In the movie, "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?" they talk about the 80/20 rule. It's really common sense.

When you are in a relationship or marriage, your significant other can realistically only give you 80% of what you need in a relationship.

There will still be 20% of what you need that your significant other will not be able to provide you, and naturally you will desire that missing 20%. This is why many people tend to veer off and cheat, and sometimes even leave their partner.

Once they've found that 20%, it's refreshing, new and exciting. "Eureka! I've found what I've been missing.", they think in so many words. However, many people forget that the other person is only providing 20% of what they need, and they are missing out on the 80% that they had with their significant other or that that person can only truly provide 60% of what they need - which puts them in a worse situation than they were in.

Now, apply that to your current career situation. Is your current position fulfilling 80% of what you need? Ask yourself some of these questions.

Do you feel invested in your institution's goals?
Do you enjoy the work you do?
Do you enjoy the company of people in your department? Your division? Your students?
When you pull yourself out of bed, do you wake up and look forward to going to the office?
Do you feel as though you're making a difference?
Is your voice being heard?
Are you respected?
Have you grown in your position?
Have you been able to evolve your job duties?
Do you like the city you live in? Does it offer you all the options you've wanted?

There's no right or wrong answers. By saying "Yes" to 7 of the questions doesn't mean you're at 70%. You might also find that there are many more questions that you need to ask yourself.

Now I'm at a crossroads of the 80/20 path. Some days I feel like I have all that I need and sometimes I want to have an affair. Having gone on two on-campus interviews - I guess I'm having the affairs even if it's just flirting.

Taking this analogy even further - Ha Ha! - I'm trying to save my "marriage" and work on our (professional) relationship by re-evaluating my responsibilities. I want to be sure that I don't continue this "marriage" and become bitter in the end and resenting someone or some place. Sometimes you can freshen up the "marriage" and sometimes it's best to split amicably.

Only time will tell.

Taking Risks

The Jedi has returned from his adventure on Endor. HA! Well.. that's what Colorado reminded me of in comparison to Las Vegas and I was ready to tackle new territory with my light saber in hand!

Given the fact that I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep and did 6 hours of talking, eating, shaking hands and trying to remember names, I think I did pretty well. The way the interviews were handled are VERY much in-line with my own style. It was just basically having a conversation with some direction. No stress about theories or mission statements, etc. You know, the things that might be asked during an on-campus interview but never really revisit once the person is hired. This was the most relaxed interview I have ever had and that was refreshing. I have to add that everyone was cool as ice!

In my experience as a seasoned student afffairs professional, I've learned that an interview isn't a contest you're trying to win to feel valued because you've been selected as the person they'd like to hire. It's about finding that fit. It's not about prepping your responses so much as it is to just being yourself. Don't get me wrong.. you can prepare for the "What do you know about our school?" type of questions - but after that.. all the answers are already in your head. No one knows you and what you do better than yourself. To link it back to being a "Jedi" - I really used The Force on Thursday. The Force being the faith in yourself; a strong level of confidence to get me through the day of sleep deprivation.

With regard to the notorious student panel interview - I had roughly 10 students around me, sitting at a table, asking great questions. I think those were probably some of the toughest questions to answer. They hit me with scenarios of issues that obviously happened in some sense or another and from what I saw, some took extensive notes. Yikes!

I left the day feeling as though I gave them a good snapshot of what I have to offer and also learned how I might be effective as a colleague at their institution. When asked about the challenges I see entering this position - I'd have to say the challenge is just "getting over yourself", taking risks and adapting to grow as a human being.

Now I sit and eagerly await the final word. Do they think I'm a good fit? I've contemplated whether I am a good fit for them since I got on the plane to return home. I can't say that there was anything that was a glaring "OOoh don't come here" moment. I also thought about my quality of life - personal and professional. How will I adapt? Would the change be good? Would I make loads of friends? Then I started thinking about life in general and something I said in the interview. In two instances I talked about encouraging students to take risks. I also mentioned how many of them took a risk at our recent retreat. We all attempted skills on the high ropes course. This experience is similar to taking the risk of moving to a new state and starting over. If offered an opportunity to work there I will need to accept the risk of the unknown and challenge myself. If I'm not offered the position I can rest on the philosophy that "everything ain't for everybody and everyone ain't for every place".

I have another on-campus interview coming up even further across the country.

I'm ready to grow.

Use the Force, D!

Recently I wrote about my light saber. Wax on. Wax off. Saber on. Saber off. No, I'm not getting trigger happy with it, just more comfortable wielding it in times of need - or so it seems.

In my previous Star Wars, geeky, themed blog entry I talked about the need to be able to to use your skills as a "Jedi". Once I was a young Jedi and now I'm a trained Jedi who failed to use the Force. What is the Force? Well, it's a level of spiritualness in the true Jedi world. In the student-affairsy world, it's confidence. My belief in the Force, my Force, was tested in the interview I spoke about. In less than 15 minutes did I really give them a good understanding of who I am and the type of work I do? I had a lot of doubt.

Fast forward 3 days. I get a phone call from the institution. In the conversation they were telling me that I am a finalist for their position and wanted to know if I were interested in coming in for an on-campus interview. Wow! I didn't suck! My repeating statements on professional growth may have meant something - and yes, if you're a wise Jedi, you sensed that I still lack a little confidence.

I am actually moving forward to an on-campus interview. I am super excited at all of the possibilities. A chance to teach a class; to advise a different group of students; to do more university wide programming. I'll be able to add more strengths to my light saber and my abilities to utilize this magnificent tool while believing in myself (a.k.a. My Force). It's self-actualization.

The saga of this Jedi is not over!

Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?

I sit here writing this blog as I finish off the remainder of my newly discovered treat--Sharon's Fat Free Sorbet. Just when I thought I couldn't write anymore (I've been working on a literature review for most of the day), I got the sudden urge to start typing away again on a blog that I've been meaning to finish for quite some time now.

I received the invitation (I'm making this sound much more formal than it really was) several weeks ago to be a guest blogger for The Real World of Maslow. When I got the invite, I thought "What on earth do I have to say relating to student affairs that other people might want to read?" During a routine Yahoo! Messenger chat with my friend Dennis (the blog owner), it hit me!

I've been working in student affairs for roughly five years now. In this profession, we are often outwardly focused and will go extremely far out of our way to meet the needs of our students. But when do we stop to meet the needs of ourselves? I must say that student affairs is probably one of the most unhealthy professions I've ever known. It can be unhealthy mentally, financially, emotionally, spiritually and most of all PHYSICALLY!

Have you ever been at a student affairs conference and noticed the number of overweight, thick, plus-sized, juicy, obese, portly, pleasantly plump...call it what you want...fat people you see? And yes, I can drop the f-bomb because I'm one of those people. Yes, I know that the average woman these days is a size 14, which conventially has been deemed a "plus size." I've also been aware of the disprorportionate amount of overweight people in the field, but it truly hit me in the spring of 2006 when I attended a professional conference. There was a session on whether or not size matters and incorporated a discussion on how size is a new -ism. This session got me thinking about how I was a fat statistic in the field. More importantly, this new revelation made me question the impact our profession has on a healthy lifestyle.

One thing that I wholeheartedly love about student affairs is that it is a profession that espouses acceptance for individual identities. What happens though when your size has become central to who you are? I grapple with this. As someone who has been overweight her entire life, it's hard for me to imagine any other identity. This complication can make moving toward a healthier lifestyle even more difficult when you're striving for something you know nothing about. Nonetheless, I told myself that I was going to make a change. I was going to take the necessary steps to learn how to live a healthier lifestyle. So, I joined Weight Watchers in March 2006.

I was so gung ho about Weight Watchers! I knew I was on a roll after my first three weeks, after dropping roughly 17lbs. I was in the ZONE! But all of a sudden I had all of those road blocks come my way--student receptions, late nights, starbucks coffees to stay energized, lunch dates I couldn't get out of, pizza parties, etc. All of these obstacles were occurring because of work...student affairs work. I became more of aware of my environment at work. Stop and think for a second...

• How many late nights have you worked that resulted in not getting a decent amount of sleep to function properly?


• How many pizzas have you ordered for work related purposes? Now how much of that pizza have you consumed?


• How often do you take time during the work day to meet your needs and your needs only?


• How many times have you run to the local grease pit on your campus or visited a fast food place in your student union?


• How many times have you thought... "When on earth am I going to have time for a vacation?"


• How many times have you said "Well the students need (fill in the blank)..." and not stopped to think about your needs?
  
  
• How many times have you said, "Well when the students go on break (summer, fall, a long weekend, etc.), I'll get it (whatever it represents for you) together"?

...and my final question is Why do we do this to ourselves? A willingness to help others is an essential characteristic for someone in student affairs. But it's time that we stop and take care of ourselves first. I return to my original statement of student affairs contributing to an unhealthy lifestyle.

For me, the most unhealthy part of my lifestyle revolved around diet and exercise. For others, the unhealthy part(s) of their lives may revolve around something else. In the past I had used my students as an excuse for not moving toward a healthier lifestyle. I was one of those people who said that they were going to get it together when the students were gone. This is student affairs folks! Students are never really gone per se.

In good old Schlossberg fashion, I made a major transition...This summer, I quit my full-time job to return to graduate school to obtain a PhD. I decided that, yes, while I work with students in my graduate assistantship, I wouldn't let them consume me. The next four years will be about me and my academic, spiritual, professional and physical pursuits. I didn't just try to adopt a healthier lifestyle this summer, I committed to it. Yes, student affairs may not create the healthiest of environments, but I came to the realization that I was blaming my profession for my physical state. I needed to shift my perspective.

What will it take for you, I ask. For me, it took embracing the I in priority. Becoming a student again has lended itself to a much more flexible schedule where I am in more control of calling the shots as to how I spend my time. Even though that is the case now, I probably have even less "free time" than I did as a full-time professional. In no way has this commencement of a overall healthier lifestyle been dependent upon students being on a break or anyone else for that matter. It's truly about me and my commitment, and not about being "selfish" with my time as we often say in student affairs. How can I be selfish with something that's already mine to begin with?

I'll close this reflection with a question that I was introduced to four years ago while listening to a homily at mass. I ended up at this church in Cincinnati in a spontaneous way, but now that I look back on the situation, I realize that I was meant to be there in that specific church for a reason. The topic of the homily was "Are You the Person You Want to Be?" My initial thought was no. I thought about this question on my drive back to school after that weekend. I knew I wasn't the person I wanted to be, even though I couldn't exactly put my finger on who my ideal me was.

I revisited this question this summer during my transition. This time, however, I feel confident in knowing who I want to be. I won't digress and go into a discussion of who I want to be, since it could be an entire blog on its own. However, I will say that there is comfort in knowing who it is you want to be. More importantly, realizing that I have ultimate control over being who it is I strive to be is immensely empowering.

Four months and 40lbs. later, I think that I'm well on my way to becoming the new me. I thank my friend Dennis for inviting me to share some words on his professional blog. Taking time to share these thoughts is quite motivating and is rejuvinating for me along this journey toward a new me. Whether or not you can directly relate to my story is not of the greatest importance. I just hope that you too will be inspired to reflect upon and write about life's moments and their relevance to who you are personally and professionally. Reflection is kind of like milk...it does a body (and a mind) good!

Peace & Blessings

Interviewing & Me: The Return of the Jedi

Lightsaber:
Main Entry: light sa·ber
Pronunciation: ˈlīt sā-bər
Function: noun

(1) A tool that can be enabled with lightning speed and holds the power of your skills, experiences, vision, career goals, personal goals, etc.

(2) A reflection of confidence, dexterity, and attunement to the (work) Force.


Yesterday I officially re-entered the land of phone interviews. How awkward! It's been 5 years since I've had to do a phone interview but I've been on the other side of the phone connection many times giving them. Since I've been at this institution I've done at least 60 phone interviews for candidates. So why did I find it so hard to be on the other side of the line?

I guess no matter how many times you've done a phone interview, the first one is always the most nerve racking. I can't recall any position that I've applied for where they were the first phone interview and I got a campus visit. Yesterday may continue that track record.

My interview yesterday was brief. Super brief. So brief that I'm not even really sure what to make of it. The interview lasted about 15 minutes - that included my questions at the end. I prepared the night before with a slew of potential questions. Tough questions. Questions that my current institution asks of its candidates. I wanted to be prepared so that my answers would flow smoothly like butter on a hot pan. I even consulted my Obi Wan Kenobi's (other professionals) for tips and reassurance! That didn't quite happen. My nerves got the best of me I think. I probably said "professional growth" a dozen times. Does that make me sound less like a Jedi? It is one of the key elements that I'm looking for in my next position. However, to be the interviewer, do you want to hear someone repeat key words? According to Yoda, “Happens to every guy sometimes this does”. I guess I've become more accustomed to much more in-depth interviews. I can honestly say that I don't think they got a good picture of who I am as a professional and didn't get a good idea of my Jedi tricks. Not in 12 minutes. Then again, maybe that's all they needed.

The brevity of this interview has caused me to question how effective I am in spitting out what I want in my next position and what my goals and skills/talents are. Sure, we could probably articulate to anyone who asks what it is we want to achieve in our careers. The question is, "Can you articulate what you want in your career on the spot with clarity and brevity while trying to be impressive?" I know I usually don't hit that clarity and brevity mark until the 2nd or 3rd interview. Impressive? I definitely love to talk about the work I do - but to do it briefly? By the time the lightsaber is on, glowing bright and I have more finesse when flippin' the switch on and off, the interview is over.

The lessons for this Jedi are these: Always have your lightsaber ready. Know what you are capable of and the power of the lightsaber. Practice, practice, practice.

"Try not. Do or do not, there is no try." -- Yoda

*I was inspired to write this blog by watching Director Kevin Smith guest star on Degrassi The Next Generation last night. He mentioned Star Wars - which is one of my favorite movie series.