I have my tackle box in hand and my fishin' pole. I heard from a friend that they're justa bitin'! Students that is...
Today I learned of three people who are nibblin' at the idea of having an opportunity to be members of an organization (RHA) that I advise. It's interesting how they swim in schools and see one person thinkin' about going after the bait and they all realize, "Hey, I want some of that bait too!"
My question is, "Is the bait the only reason I've lured you?" That bait being a nice discount on their housing. I worry about that a lot. Are these students just being interested because of the financial help they'll get? I mean, being an RA is totally for that free housing first and foremost. We'd just like to pretend that it's for all the RIGHT reasons? You know.. because "I really want to help students". It's totally not because they're just itchin' to jump out of bed for a random emergency like a fire alarm that just won't turn off. It's the all mighty dollar - but hey.. that's reality and I'd be the same way.
To catch nibbles with this generation - I always try to use my best lures. Sometimes I squirt that fish oil stuff on the bait that will help in attracting the student - you know what that is... The "It'll look GREAT on your resume and you'll gain some awesome experience" mixed with a "I think you would be an excellent..." I've even gone to the extremes by saying, "Think of all the money you could save and you won't have to be on duty!" That last one just never seems to matter to folks. I mean, there's no way I can equal $0 for housing and meal plan for a mere discount each semester.
The school year won't officially begin until August 27. I already have three nibbles and I haven't even put out my fish finders yet (my ads). This is a good thing. I do think they're genuinely interested in positions that are available.
Of the fish that I caught last year, I think they were my prize fish. Many of them have gone on to become RAs. I think they enjoyed their housing experience and want to be more vested in the process (oh, how very student affairsy of me) - I just hope they don't turn bitter by the end of the year. The pond's they're now swimming in are MUCH different than the pond I provide.
Each year it's a battle for the best of the bunch. Yep, a battle between recruiting RAs and RHA members. A lot of times I feel that becoming an RA is more highly valued than being a member of RHA and being the facilitator of community. Both facilitate community, however - RHA facilitates community on a much larger scale. Basically, all the students I "catch" and restocked into a smaller lake are much more easily caught by that fisherman (or woman) that is casting a line out for their own needs. I've become that stocked man-made lake!
I guess becoming that stocked lake is a testiment of what I do but it always causes me to enter into a fishing frenzy at the beginning of the year to find people to replace the fish that get "hooked" into being an RA. Are we doing a disservice to ourselves if we're just taking people who might very well be better suited for one position or another that don't last an entire semester? That's something that I've always wondered about. If a student becomes an RA that probably is more suited for RHA, how do we best serve the community? By having a body in a position or someone with talent for maintaining a floor, building a rapport with students, or building community? I don't really have an answer just yet, but I'm definitely thinking about it all.
Within the next couple of weeks I'll see what my "catches of the days" are. I have my bucket ready. Happy fishing and I hope you catch the "Big One"!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Free to Be?
For the last week or so, I've been struggling with how to tackle this particular topic - AUTHENTICITY. How many of us truly live authentic lives? Are our professional lives separate from our authentic lives? Do they blend nicely or is there a Mason Dixon line present?
I felt it was time to write this blog because it just seemed as though I was being presented with hint after hint to write this blog. First it was a conversation, then it was something I witnessed at work, then it was an article I read, then another conversation. Today was the tipping point when the topic on Oprah was being who you were meant to be - living authentically without fear. This episode featured Ellen Burstyn, Sheryl Crow, and Dana Buchman as well as many other prominent women in entertainment talking about how they have finally been able to be the person they feel they were meant to be.
I like to think that I live pretty authentically at work and in my personal life. Granted, there are things that are too personal to talk about at work - everyone need not know ALL of your business! However, I think there's merit to being "YOU" 24/7 as much as possible. Choosing to do things because you want to not because you feel obligated. To feel comfortable in sharing your opinions and standing your ground with your beliefs. Being able to share who you are with the students you work with confidently, without feeling like you'd be judged by them OR your supervisor - I mean.. we DO try to teach civility and acceptance, right?
I read an article today to research this topic. I knew what it feels like to live authentically but I couldn't articulate it. However, this article does it really well.
"Truly being your Self in any given situation means you are: at peace with your Self, in love with your Self, into your Self or at one with your Self. When you're being your Authentic Self you feel empowered, powerful, confident, capable, strong and One with All That Is."
(Excerpt from The Freedom of Being Authentic By Melissa Van Rossum)
I know for a fact that I hadn't been authentic until I made the move to Las Vegas. In undergrad I wasn't being myself. I joined a fraternity and did a half-ass job of being myself. The fraternity gave me a lot of my personality for 5 years - and honestly, I needed one badly because I was so afraid of knowing who I was so that was something that defined me. Then there was grad school - and I was still undefined. Beginning my first student affairs professional gig - I was on the cusp of living authentically.
A journey of authenticity - scary, huh? Yeah it is scary. The first year I decided to be me 24/7 I began by putting a rainbow sticker on my car in 2003. I wanted students to be able to identify an ally and a member of a specific community. It's a part of who I am just as being black is. In doing that, I was officially stating my orientation to EVERYONE at the university and community. It was scary and liberating - it was also a way to say it without me actually "saying it". Still a bit cowardly. Four years have passed and I now sport Marshall University paraphernalia on my new car rather than rainbow anything. I've gotten to the point where it's easier to talk about with students, staff, and friends. Living an authentic life on and off campus. I've empowered myself and now I'm able to help empower others.
Feeling empowered, confident, capable and strong is important for anyone in any field - the only difference for those in our career is that while we're pushing to be all those things while we're tryin' to help others to arrive there too. Do we ever make ourselves vulnerable to our students? To our colleagues? Are we being "too real" too often and where do you stop being real and being professional? Is it based on your own comfort level? If it is your comfort level, then we're back to square one - are you comfortable with who you are and what you represent? Shouldn't we be role models?
Let's talk about role modeling briefly. What is a good role model? Someone who appears to have arrived to where they are without mistakes or struggles? Or is a role model someone who will share their trials and errors, their successes and offer guidance on how to become successful? One of my biggest pet peeves in our field are professionals that act as though they've NEVER done anything wrong and chastise students who do make mistakes.
There's a quote that I began to say 4 years ago and I can't remember who said it but it goes like this... "It's much easier to live one life than to live two lives and just as easy to be yourself than to be the somebody someone else created." At the end of the day you only have to answer to one person.. and that's you. Your friends, your colleagues and your students will respect you more for your honesty. Express who you are more regularly and you'll begin to feel stronger, more capable, more empowered because of your honesty. And because of your honesty you'll live a freer more authentic life.
As the school year begins - think of how different it might be if you were more authentic in your work. Consider blurring those lines between personal and professional and allowing people the opportunity to know you.. flaws and all (that's right, Beyonce'!)
I felt it was time to write this blog because it just seemed as though I was being presented with hint after hint to write this blog. First it was a conversation, then it was something I witnessed at work, then it was an article I read, then another conversation. Today was the tipping point when the topic on Oprah was being who you were meant to be - living authentically without fear. This episode featured Ellen Burstyn, Sheryl Crow, and Dana Buchman as well as many other prominent women in entertainment talking about how they have finally been able to be the person they feel they were meant to be.
I like to think that I live pretty authentically at work and in my personal life. Granted, there are things that are too personal to talk about at work - everyone need not know ALL of your business! However, I think there's merit to being "YOU" 24/7 as much as possible. Choosing to do things because you want to not because you feel obligated. To feel comfortable in sharing your opinions and standing your ground with your beliefs. Being able to share who you are with the students you work with confidently, without feeling like you'd be judged by them OR your supervisor - I mean.. we DO try to teach civility and acceptance, right?
I read an article today to research this topic. I knew what it feels like to live authentically but I couldn't articulate it. However, this article does it really well.
"Truly being your Self in any given situation means you are: at peace with your Self, in love with your Self, into your Self or at one with your Self. When you're being your Authentic Self you feel empowered, powerful, confident, capable, strong and One with All That Is."
(Excerpt from The Freedom of Being Authentic By Melissa Van Rossum)
I know for a fact that I hadn't been authentic until I made the move to Las Vegas. In undergrad I wasn't being myself. I joined a fraternity and did a half-ass job of being myself. The fraternity gave me a lot of my personality for 5 years - and honestly, I needed one badly because I was so afraid of knowing who I was so that was something that defined me. Then there was grad school - and I was still undefined. Beginning my first student affairs professional gig - I was on the cusp of living authentically.
A journey of authenticity - scary, huh? Yeah it is scary. The first year I decided to be me 24/7 I began by putting a rainbow sticker on my car in 2003. I wanted students to be able to identify an ally and a member of a specific community. It's a part of who I am just as being black is. In doing that, I was officially stating my orientation to EVERYONE at the university and community. It was scary and liberating - it was also a way to say it without me actually "saying it". Still a bit cowardly. Four years have passed and I now sport Marshall University paraphernalia on my new car rather than rainbow anything. I've gotten to the point where it's easier to talk about with students, staff, and friends. Living an authentic life on and off campus. I've empowered myself and now I'm able to help empower others.
Feeling empowered, confident, capable and strong is important for anyone in any field - the only difference for those in our career is that while we're pushing to be all those things while we're tryin' to help others to arrive there too. Do we ever make ourselves vulnerable to our students? To our colleagues? Are we being "too real" too often and where do you stop being real and being professional? Is it based on your own comfort level? If it is your comfort level, then we're back to square one - are you comfortable with who you are and what you represent? Shouldn't we be role models?
Let's talk about role modeling briefly. What is a good role model? Someone who appears to have arrived to where they are without mistakes or struggles? Or is a role model someone who will share their trials and errors, their successes and offer guidance on how to become successful? One of my biggest pet peeves in our field are professionals that act as though they've NEVER done anything wrong and chastise students who do make mistakes.
There's a quote that I began to say 4 years ago and I can't remember who said it but it goes like this... "It's much easier to live one life than to live two lives and just as easy to be yourself than to be the somebody someone else created." At the end of the day you only have to answer to one person.. and that's you. Your friends, your colleagues and your students will respect you more for your honesty. Express who you are more regularly and you'll begin to feel stronger, more capable, more empowered because of your honesty. And because of your honesty you'll live a freer more authentic life.
As the school year begins - think of how different it might be if you were more authentic in your work. Consider blurring those lines between personal and professional and allowing people the opportunity to know you.. flaws and all (that's right, Beyonce'!)
Sunday, August 5, 2007
I Went to College and All I Got Was This Lousy Ph.D.
I recently had an interaction with someone from the faculty side of life. I met this character during a random chat about professions and I had mentioned that I too, was an educator. He got excited to find another educator at the same university and quickly began to talk faculty lingo.
"I'm a mathematics professor, and I just got tenure and I'm 30!", he told me as if he were tryin' to strut his stuff like a fancy peacock.
"Oh that's cool. I'm an educator too. I work in Campus Life", I replied.
"So, what do you teach?", he asked.
"I don't teach in a classroom. I'm administrative staff. I teach and try to develop leadership skills to students", I answered.
He quickly replied, "Well that's not teaching. You can't teach leadership! You either are a born leader or not. You said you were an educator and that suggests teaching. You just work in Campus Life."
In the blink of an eye, my mood sharply changed. "I do teach. I'm working with these students everyday and if it's not learning how to be a better leader, it's teaching them civility. If I'm not teaching civility, I'm teaching on diversity. If I'm not teaching diversity, I'm teaching some skill that will help them in some form or fashion. A lot of times I'm teaching lots of thing in the span of a few hours", I said in a tone just 5 degrees shy of reaching a level of hot tempered.
"Well I still say it's not teaching" he said with a smirk on his face.
It was at that moment when I began to ignore him.
I went to bed thinking about what this random person just told me. He discounted all of the work I do. WE do... As if his work is more important. I quickly realized that I was being like this person by trying to discount his tenured track role. Being judgemental. I think it's cool that he has tenure. But I think it's uncool that he fails to see the value in the work of Student Affairs Professionals.
Thinking back on what this person's college experience was, he may have not had much of one. I surely would have asked him had he not been so arrogant. Did he fly through academic programs without stopping to smell the roses? And what awesome roses they are - all varieties, sizes and fragrances.
Can you imagine what it might be like if we didn't provide the activities, leadership programs, training, etc? Number one, it would be UBER boring. Number two, we would never learn as much about other cultures, races, religions, etc without the social interactions, trainings, workshops, etc that we provide. Number three, students would fail to see life globally. Number four, many students wouldn't have an opportunity to have a better sense of self. There are many positive results that come from the work that we do. We don't reach ALL students but we surely make a valiant effort.
So, if you fly through college like a speeding bullet do you miss out on something? Most Student Affairs practitioners would probably say yes. It's a time to try and learn new things. A time to figure out who YOU are and what you believe. A time to be that person who leads; one who contributes to community service; one who understands or attempts to understand differences among people; one who contributes to the world and not to forget - their contributions to our Gross Domestic Product :0)
I think it's important to get more from your college experience than earning degrees. There is value in knowing your coursework and there is value in knowing you've had an experience through some sort of involvement. It's important to enjoy your journey, take plenty of photos and have a ton of memories of the experience as opposed to going on a vacation, staying in and never leaving your room and coming back with a souvenir as the only proof of having had that experience. You would never spend $1000 on a vacation and do that - and I would expect a student to not do that with a $20,000 (or more) education.
College is a journey of many paths. Take time and see the different views. Take pictures. Develop connections and save room for memories. Don't let your degree be the only memory you have of the experience.
Well, now I've said all that to preach to the choir - but I feel so refreshed now that I've gotten that out of my brain.
"I'm a mathematics professor, and I just got tenure and I'm 30!", he told me as if he were tryin' to strut his stuff like a fancy peacock.
"Oh that's cool. I'm an educator too. I work in Campus Life", I replied.
"So, what do you teach?", he asked.
"I don't teach in a classroom. I'm administrative staff. I teach and try to develop leadership skills to students", I answered.
He quickly replied, "Well that's not teaching. You can't teach leadership! You either are a born leader or not. You said you were an educator and that suggests teaching. You just work in Campus Life."
In the blink of an eye, my mood sharply changed. "I do teach. I'm working with these students everyday and if it's not learning how to be a better leader, it's teaching them civility. If I'm not teaching civility, I'm teaching on diversity. If I'm not teaching diversity, I'm teaching some skill that will help them in some form or fashion. A lot of times I'm teaching lots of thing in the span of a few hours", I said in a tone just 5 degrees shy of reaching a level of hot tempered.
"Well I still say it's not teaching" he said with a smirk on his face.
It was at that moment when I began to ignore him.
I went to bed thinking about what this random person just told me. He discounted all of the work I do. WE do... As if his work is more important. I quickly realized that I was being like this person by trying to discount his tenured track role. Being judgemental. I think it's cool that he has tenure. But I think it's uncool that he fails to see the value in the work of Student Affairs Professionals.
Thinking back on what this person's college experience was, he may have not had much of one. I surely would have asked him had he not been so arrogant. Did he fly through academic programs without stopping to smell the roses? And what awesome roses they are - all varieties, sizes and fragrances.
Can you imagine what it might be like if we didn't provide the activities, leadership programs, training, etc? Number one, it would be UBER boring. Number two, we would never learn as much about other cultures, races, religions, etc without the social interactions, trainings, workshops, etc that we provide. Number three, students would fail to see life globally. Number four, many students wouldn't have an opportunity to have a better sense of self. There are many positive results that come from the work that we do. We don't reach ALL students but we surely make a valiant effort.
So, if you fly through college like a speeding bullet do you miss out on something? Most Student Affairs practitioners would probably say yes. It's a time to try and learn new things. A time to figure out who YOU are and what you believe. A time to be that person who leads; one who contributes to community service; one who understands or attempts to understand differences among people; one who contributes to the world and not to forget - their contributions to our Gross Domestic Product :0)
I think it's important to get more from your college experience than earning degrees. There is value in knowing your coursework and there is value in knowing you've had an experience through some sort of involvement. It's important to enjoy your journey, take plenty of photos and have a ton of memories of the experience as opposed to going on a vacation, staying in and never leaving your room and coming back with a souvenir as the only proof of having had that experience. You would never spend $1000 on a vacation and do that - and I would expect a student to not do that with a $20,000 (or more) education.
College is a journey of many paths. Take time and see the different views. Take pictures. Develop connections and save room for memories. Don't let your degree be the only memory you have of the experience.
Well, now I've said all that to preach to the choir - but I feel so refreshed now that I've gotten that out of my brain.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Fishin' in the Sea of University...
The life of a Student Affairs professional is one that is ever changing. Whether it's a new position at a fabulous new institution in a land far, far, away from where we once used to live, the change in duties, or the change of the landscape - i.e. Construction!
One thing remains constant. The influx of wide-eyed freshmen.
I have to admit. The excitement they bring makes me excited! I guess it also helps that I work in leadership development - it's almost like I'm deep sea fishing for a marlin. Every year in my position, I cast out my reel. I send out notifications to students in our housing program about a great leadership opportunity. Students can apply to participate in this program that will not only help them develop as a leader at our university but will also give them a jump start in getting settled into their new environment because they are able to move in a week early. It's obviously geared toward the wide-eyed variety of student.
I get first view of these students in my fish finder. I see them interact within "schools", teams, and individually during this program. It's funny, because a lot of times I catch certain ones trying to impress me - thinking they'll get a better chance at becoming an RA, Student Government Senator, or RHA. Sometimes they're right! HA! That's that flashy type of fish.
It's amazing what these students are capable of. They come with many talents and sometimes it's unbeknownst to them what talents they have. Sure, they were told they could do just about anything if they put their mind to it, and you know what? They can. Think "The Incredible Mr. Limpet".
There is a student of mine from last year who had a rocky start. He was also a member of my wide-eyed group - this student's eyes are about as wide as one of those crazy lookin' monkeys you see on the Discovery Channel(ahhh.. yes, a Bush Baby!). He is a talented artist/graphic designer and was just ecstatic about getting involved. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to reel him in as I had hoped. Instead, he fell into the "let's party" school of fish and found trouble. Actually, trouble found him a couple of times too. Everyone wanted to write this student off as a lost cause and trouble maker based on what they've seen of him during his short time in campus housing. Luckily I saw a glimmer of hope in him.
I cast my fishing line out to him and with the help of our Office of Student Conduct, we "caught" him at the right time. Now I am happy to say that this student is definitely on the right track and has a clear vision of where he wants to be. At least for now - I mean, I DO keep a realistic view of my students because I've been there, done that all myself. Now he sits on RHA, Student Government, is a student worker and maintains over a 3.4 GPA!
I say all of this to point out this one idea. With a new year you can choose to focus on making your campus a better place. You can focus on helping students be better people. You can focus on yourself and how you can arrive to be the best person you can possibly be. Try to never stop having hope. Hope for yourself, for others, for the school, for the world.
As each of you cast your fishing line out to catch the "big one", remember that leaders come to us in all kinds of variety and are prize worthy no matter what size ocean they happen to be swimming in.
I'm anxiously awaiting the next bite.
One thing remains constant. The influx of wide-eyed freshmen.
I have to admit. The excitement they bring makes me excited! I guess it also helps that I work in leadership development - it's almost like I'm deep sea fishing for a marlin. Every year in my position, I cast out my reel. I send out notifications to students in our housing program about a great leadership opportunity. Students can apply to participate in this program that will not only help them develop as a leader at our university but will also give them a jump start in getting settled into their new environment because they are able to move in a week early. It's obviously geared toward the wide-eyed variety of student.
I get first view of these students in my fish finder. I see them interact within "schools", teams, and individually during this program. It's funny, because a lot of times I catch certain ones trying to impress me - thinking they'll get a better chance at becoming an RA, Student Government Senator, or RHA. Sometimes they're right! HA! That's that flashy type of fish.
It's amazing what these students are capable of. They come with many talents and sometimes it's unbeknownst to them what talents they have. Sure, they were told they could do just about anything if they put their mind to it, and you know what? They can. Think "The Incredible Mr. Limpet".
There is a student of mine from last year who had a rocky start. He was also a member of my wide-eyed group - this student's eyes are about as wide as one of those crazy lookin' monkeys you see on the Discovery Channel(ahhh.. yes, a Bush Baby!). He is a talented artist/graphic designer and was just ecstatic about getting involved. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to reel him in as I had hoped. Instead, he fell into the "let's party" school of fish and found trouble. Actually, trouble found him a couple of times too. Everyone wanted to write this student off as a lost cause and trouble maker based on what they've seen of him during his short time in campus housing. Luckily I saw a glimmer of hope in him.
I cast my fishing line out to him and with the help of our Office of Student Conduct, we "caught" him at the right time. Now I am happy to say that this student is definitely on the right track and has a clear vision of where he wants to be. At least for now - I mean, I DO keep a realistic view of my students because I've been there, done that all myself. Now he sits on RHA, Student Government, is a student worker and maintains over a 3.4 GPA!
I say all of this to point out this one idea. With a new year you can choose to focus on making your campus a better place. You can focus on helping students be better people. You can focus on yourself and how you can arrive to be the best person you can possibly be. Try to never stop having hope. Hope for yourself, for others, for the school, for the world.
As each of you cast your fishing line out to catch the "big one", remember that leaders come to us in all kinds of variety and are prize worthy no matter what size ocean they happen to be swimming in.
I'm anxiously awaiting the next bite.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
My Inaugural Post
I came up with a wild idea this morning. To develop a blog about my life in the field of Student Affairs. I'm not sure how many people actually have done this. I've seen some people blog to entire listervs. I've seen others just talk about their experiences in personal blogs (I'm guilty of that too) that include their love life, family and random other discussions.
This blog is unique. I even "googled" the idea to see what else is out there. There were quite a few college and university sponsored blogs geared to the field as well as "for profit" websites. This particular blog is coming from big ol' me.
I thought it would be a cool thing to write about my experiences in the world of Student Affairs. It's amazing how I've been intertwined into the threads that make up the blanket that keep each of us cozy, warm and fuzzy as we work with college-aged students - especially considering the cold start I had.
I chose the blog name "The Real World of Maslow" because his theory is one of the more heavily mentioned. To become a self-actualized individual is what he says we strive to be. I also chose it because I wanted something that would reference college students - so naturally MTV's "The Real World" came to mind. We work with these students just about everyday. We see the highs and lows and when life starts getting "real" with them and stop being polite. We strive to help the ones we REALLY connect with to be self-actualized individuals even while we're often not so sure if we've reached that pinnacle ourselves.
Each week I will strive to enter a grain of my experience into this blog. It's my hope that graduate students and new professionals read this and either learn from my mistakes or improve on my successes. It is also my hope that instructors in our field and other colleagues provide their own grains as we all come together.
The first few postings will be from previous posts I've made on one of the aforementioned types of blogs.
With that said and it being nearly 12:30 AM - I can retire to my bed knowing that I've gotten this nugget of an idea up and running.
Until then...
Dennis M. Hicks
This blog is unique. I even "googled" the idea to see what else is out there. There were quite a few college and university sponsored blogs geared to the field as well as "for profit" websites. This particular blog is coming from big ol' me.
I thought it would be a cool thing to write about my experiences in the world of Student Affairs. It's amazing how I've been intertwined into the threads that make up the blanket that keep each of us cozy, warm and fuzzy as we work with college-aged students - especially considering the cold start I had.
I chose the blog name "The Real World of Maslow" because his theory is one of the more heavily mentioned. To become a self-actualized individual is what he says we strive to be. I also chose it because I wanted something that would reference college students - so naturally MTV's "The Real World" came to mind. We work with these students just about everyday. We see the highs and lows and when life starts getting "real" with them and stop being polite. We strive to help the ones we REALLY connect with to be self-actualized individuals even while we're often not so sure if we've reached that pinnacle ourselves.
Each week I will strive to enter a grain of my experience into this blog. It's my hope that graduate students and new professionals read this and either learn from my mistakes or improve on my successes. It is also my hope that instructors in our field and other colleagues provide their own grains as we all come together.
The first few postings will be from previous posts I've made on one of the aforementioned types of blogs.
With that said and it being nearly 12:30 AM - I can retire to my bed knowing that I've gotten this nugget of an idea up and running.
Until then...
Dennis M. Hicks
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Do You Know How Important You Are?
If you've kept up with my postings, you'd know that I'm in a "writing mood" lately. It's a creative outlet for me and when i take the time to write something, I REALLY put in some effort.
Today I was watching a show I had Tivo'ed called "Iconoclasts". It's a show that comes on the Sundance Channel. I had heard about this show from a friend and it just so happens that I came across the show one day. I didn't have time to sit and enjoy it so I set up the Tivo to capture the episode. This particular episode featured Dave Chapelle and Dr. Maya Angelou. These are two people that I admire in different ways and i was deeply interested in how this meeting of two well known, black celebrities would work out.
As i was watching the episode, it just began to move me. Dave Chapelle is my age and he's talking to Maya Angelou who reminded me of my maternal grandmother - extremely wise and full of love. I was thinking of how much love Dave Chapelle must be feeling because I was feeling it just from watching the screen.
Maya Angelou talked about her life and the people she knew and had met. Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr., James Baldwin, among others. It's just amazing to hear of the life she was made to live.
In the episode she talked about how she could tell when a young adult was raised properly - by how they respect their elders. She also commented that while you should respect your elders, you don't necessarily need to agree with them. That reminded me of my own upbringing. It also reminded me of a story i was told the other day in which as a teen ager, this person would have fist fights with her mother. Something is clearly wrong with that picture. I also thought about how I treat senior citizens and how I give them respect. My parents made sure to instill this in me.
Maya Angelou was speaking with Dave and told him a story. In this story she said two things that resonated with me. 1 - "Don't pick it up and don't lay it down." and 2 - "Do you know how important you are?".
I'll tackle the easiest to explain first. I was confused when she said the statement, "Don't pick it up and don't lay it down." What in the world is that supposed to mean? I was confused. Then she explained. If someone says, "You're great!", "Your work is fabulous!", "You do everything fantastically!" you should consider accepting the compliment because if you "pick it up" you're also going to have to "pick up" the criticisms. If you choose to "pick up" the accolades you can't just "lay down" the crticisms. That struck a chord with me and my career and my art. If I accept all of the positive discussion about what I do I need to also accept the negative. If I'm not ready to accept crticism I should just graciously and humbly accept the compliment and move on without relishing in the thought that someone thought I was "great", "good", "awesome", etc.
The second thing Maya Angelou said is, "Do you know how important you are?" As a black American... this is EXTREMELY important.
Maya Angelou was telling Dave Chapelle how she had to have a conversation with a young black man who was angry at another black man and using foul language (she does a MUCH better explanation of this than i do). She asked him "Has anyone told you how important you are?" Again, my ears perked up and i listened intently and rewound it to hear it again. "Has anyone told you how important you are?" Wow - that is SO profound. So profound that I had to pause Tivo and grab my sketch book. I wrote down what she said word for word. Maya said, "Do you know our people slept - laid spoon fashioned, in the filthy ashes of slave ships in their own and each others excrement and urine and menstral flow so that you could live 200 years later? Do you know that our people stoof on auction blocks so that you could live? When is the last time someone told you how important you are?" The person Maya Angelou was speaking to was Tupac Shakur on the set of Poetic Justice.
Think about that. Think about HOW profound that paragraph is. The very thought of understanding where most black americans originated from. How they arrived to America. Think about the pain and agony our ancestors must have gone through. Think about the journey on those slave ships - the trauma of being captured and shackled. The pain of being whipped and abused. Raped and robbed. To have survived all of that so that WE can be here. This is what makes being a black American important. We carry on the struggle for what our ancestors lived through. We are the result of their successes in staying alive. We are a result of their fighting for freedom; for civil rights; for equal rights.
To be a black American and not "get that" is not understanding our history in this country. It makes me realize how thankful I am. How grateful I am to have been given the life I have and a sense of urgency in making my life have meaning and importance because I know how "important I am".
After the episode, I also got to thinkin' about why certain words and actions are unacceptable in black American society. For instance - dressing in black face - totally unacceptable just because of the history behind it all. Shirley Q. Liquor is a white man dressing in brown makeup and over-the-top clothing, representing himself as a poor, uneducated, single parent of MANY kids. It's like we stepped back into time. This is NOT the days of the menstel show! Then to have another person argue that it's no different than Eddie Murphy dressing up as a Jewish man in Coming to America - they MUST be smokin' somethin'. I don't recall a black man dressin' in white face makin' fun of June Cleaver.
Then there's the whole use of the word Nigger and any other version of the word (nigga, nicca, et al). Let me clarify something. I don't use the word UNLESS i'm trying to educate - so at this moment it will be used freely. I've heard people say, "Well how come blacks can say it and I can't?" Well, think about it... if you still don't get it, you probably shouldn't even consider using it. I don't even like to hear black people say it. It's a term used to hurt us and our using it doesn't give us the power it ONLY gives the power to the people who are CURRENTLY in power. As long as you continue to say the word, the more they'll continue to believe that's all you are. You might say "Nicca" or "Nigga" but the rest of the world is hearing NIGGER. If you want to be treated with honor and respect you have to begin with treating yourself like you deserve it.
It's so amazing how something like this can flip a switch in your brain. i feel so compelled to do something; to be expressive - much more than just writing this blog. This week I will create something artistic to show the importance of black Americans in the 21st Century.
Today I was watching a show I had Tivo'ed called "Iconoclasts". It's a show that comes on the Sundance Channel. I had heard about this show from a friend and it just so happens that I came across the show one day. I didn't have time to sit and enjoy it so I set up the Tivo to capture the episode. This particular episode featured Dave Chapelle and Dr. Maya Angelou. These are two people that I admire in different ways and i was deeply interested in how this meeting of two well known, black celebrities would work out.
As i was watching the episode, it just began to move me. Dave Chapelle is my age and he's talking to Maya Angelou who reminded me of my maternal grandmother - extremely wise and full of love. I was thinking of how much love Dave Chapelle must be feeling because I was feeling it just from watching the screen.
Maya Angelou talked about her life and the people she knew and had met. Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr., James Baldwin, among others. It's just amazing to hear of the life she was made to live.
In the episode she talked about how she could tell when a young adult was raised properly - by how they respect their elders. She also commented that while you should respect your elders, you don't necessarily need to agree with them. That reminded me of my own upbringing. It also reminded me of a story i was told the other day in which as a teen ager, this person would have fist fights with her mother. Something is clearly wrong with that picture. I also thought about how I treat senior citizens and how I give them respect. My parents made sure to instill this in me.
Maya Angelou was speaking with Dave and told him a story. In this story she said two things that resonated with me. 1 - "Don't pick it up and don't lay it down." and 2 - "Do you know how important you are?".
I'll tackle the easiest to explain first. I was confused when she said the statement, "Don't pick it up and don't lay it down." What in the world is that supposed to mean? I was confused. Then she explained. If someone says, "You're great!", "Your work is fabulous!", "You do everything fantastically!" you should consider accepting the compliment because if you "pick it up" you're also going to have to "pick up" the criticisms. If you choose to "pick up" the accolades you can't just "lay down" the crticisms. That struck a chord with me and my career and my art. If I accept all of the positive discussion about what I do I need to also accept the negative. If I'm not ready to accept crticism I should just graciously and humbly accept the compliment and move on without relishing in the thought that someone thought I was "great", "good", "awesome", etc.
The second thing Maya Angelou said is, "Do you know how important you are?" As a black American... this is EXTREMELY important.
Maya Angelou was telling Dave Chapelle how she had to have a conversation with a young black man who was angry at another black man and using foul language (she does a MUCH better explanation of this than i do). She asked him "Has anyone told you how important you are?" Again, my ears perked up and i listened intently and rewound it to hear it again. "Has anyone told you how important you are?" Wow - that is SO profound. So profound that I had to pause Tivo and grab my sketch book. I wrote down what she said word for word. Maya said, "Do you know our people slept - laid spoon fashioned, in the filthy ashes of slave ships in their own and each others excrement and urine and menstral flow so that you could live 200 years later? Do you know that our people stoof on auction blocks so that you could live? When is the last time someone told you how important you are?" The person Maya Angelou was speaking to was Tupac Shakur on the set of Poetic Justice.
Think about that. Think about HOW profound that paragraph is. The very thought of understanding where most black americans originated from. How they arrived to America. Think about the pain and agony our ancestors must have gone through. Think about the journey on those slave ships - the trauma of being captured and shackled. The pain of being whipped and abused. Raped and robbed. To have survived all of that so that WE can be here. This is what makes being a black American important. We carry on the struggle for what our ancestors lived through. We are the result of their successes in staying alive. We are a result of their fighting for freedom; for civil rights; for equal rights.
To be a black American and not "get that" is not understanding our history in this country. It makes me realize how thankful I am. How grateful I am to have been given the life I have and a sense of urgency in making my life have meaning and importance because I know how "important I am".
After the episode, I also got to thinkin' about why certain words and actions are unacceptable in black American society. For instance - dressing in black face - totally unacceptable just because of the history behind it all. Shirley Q. Liquor is a white man dressing in brown makeup and over-the-top clothing, representing himself as a poor, uneducated, single parent of MANY kids. It's like we stepped back into time. This is NOT the days of the menstel show! Then to have another person argue that it's no different than Eddie Murphy dressing up as a Jewish man in Coming to America - they MUST be smokin' somethin'. I don't recall a black man dressin' in white face makin' fun of June Cleaver.
Then there's the whole use of the word Nigger and any other version of the word (nigga, nicca, et al). Let me clarify something. I don't use the word UNLESS i'm trying to educate - so at this moment it will be used freely. I've heard people say, "Well how come blacks can say it and I can't?" Well, think about it... if you still don't get it, you probably shouldn't even consider using it. I don't even like to hear black people say it. It's a term used to hurt us and our using it doesn't give us the power it ONLY gives the power to the people who are CURRENTLY in power. As long as you continue to say the word, the more they'll continue to believe that's all you are. You might say "Nicca" or "Nigga" but the rest of the world is hearing NIGGER. If you want to be treated with honor and respect you have to begin with treating yourself like you deserve it.
It's so amazing how something like this can flip a switch in your brain. i feel so compelled to do something; to be expressive - much more than just writing this blog. This week I will create something artistic to show the importance of black Americans in the 21st Century.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Moments of Clarity
There are moments as a student affairs practitioner where you want to pull your hair out. There are also moments where you understand your role to be the most ideal career choice you could have ever made. If there were a tangible way to measure these moments as elements with mass and volume, the latter would be the heaviest.
When I entered the field of student affairs I wasn't so much concerned with affecting change in students lives. I was more concerned with affecting change in my own. I wanted to make a living by enjoying what I did, which would be event planning and programming. Student Development Theory was low of my list of priorities as I strived to make my grand exit from my graduate school program.
Upon entering my first position as a hall director my new priority was treading water. I don't suspect that many people wake up one day in their youth and say, "When I grow up I want to be a hall director". It has to be absolutely one of the grimiest positions in the field. Late nights, large students staffs, committee work, and let's not forget the on-call responsibilities. However, having this position allowed me to begin to understand who and what I have become today.
Day in and day out we interact with students. Those interactions might be intentionally developmental, passive, and interactive. While we probably focus more on our intentional interactions it's probably the unintentional interactions that are often remembered. Those moments when a student realize that you are an individual who has a life that exists outside of the office; those moments when they begin to understand why you've made the choices you've made; and those moments when they begin to respect you for all that you do in your job. It is these interactions that fuel a student affairs practitioner to continue to do their work.
About 18 months ago I was declaring my departure from my current position. I was sure that it was time for me to move on. I had done everything I needed to do and I thought I was ready for my next adventure. Fast forward to the unintentional interaction with a student that I advise that took place during the fall semester of 2006. I have a comfy couch located directly across from my desk. This student came into my office and sat on the couch confidently and began to have a general conversation about the organization that I advise. After giving more than an hour of my time to this conversation I began to consider how important that conversation really was. Not only for his sake but for mine as well. I contemplated this conversation and its meaning over the weekend and came to a conclusion. I am not ready to leave because these moments are why I'm here.
This is the time when students across the world are graduating. These are the times where, as an educator, you are purposely reminded why you do what you do each day. The culmination of all interactions with your students and colleagues has resulted in the march of Pomp and Circumstance and the presence of a new graduate.
Last month a student called to ask if I would be interested in attending his graduation dinner with his entire family and friends. He said that I had been influential in his college experience and wanted me to be a part of his celebration. I was honored and accepted his invitation. His appreciation for the work that I do each day and the understanding that it all has a purpose moved me.
More students will pass through my life. More students will sit comfortably on my couch. More students will remember their experiences and hopefully, think positively of them. More students will graduate. For each moment that was intentional and unintentional I will continue to remember why I am here - because I enjoy what I do on a different level. Whether it's developing a program for students, creating opportunities for them to learn or try something new, or provide a venue for open dialogue where we can learn from one another. I am grateful to have followed this path and arrived to this point in my life.
This epiphany of not only understanding why I am here doing the work that I do and having those I am connected to understand and begin to believe in the work that I do is heavy; especially when you consider the impact you are having on the world. I hope to continue to make a difference and I hope you do as well as we plan for a new year.
When I entered the field of student affairs I wasn't so much concerned with affecting change in students lives. I was more concerned with affecting change in my own. I wanted to make a living by enjoying what I did, which would be event planning and programming. Student Development Theory was low of my list of priorities as I strived to make my grand exit from my graduate school program.
Upon entering my first position as a hall director my new priority was treading water. I don't suspect that many people wake up one day in their youth and say, "When I grow up I want to be a hall director". It has to be absolutely one of the grimiest positions in the field. Late nights, large students staffs, committee work, and let's not forget the on-call responsibilities. However, having this position allowed me to begin to understand who and what I have become today.
Day in and day out we interact with students. Those interactions might be intentionally developmental, passive, and interactive. While we probably focus more on our intentional interactions it's probably the unintentional interactions that are often remembered. Those moments when a student realize that you are an individual who has a life that exists outside of the office; those moments when they begin to understand why you've made the choices you've made; and those moments when they begin to respect you for all that you do in your job. It is these interactions that fuel a student affairs practitioner to continue to do their work.
About 18 months ago I was declaring my departure from my current position. I was sure that it was time for me to move on. I had done everything I needed to do and I thought I was ready for my next adventure. Fast forward to the unintentional interaction with a student that I advise that took place during the fall semester of 2006. I have a comfy couch located directly across from my desk. This student came into my office and sat on the couch confidently and began to have a general conversation about the organization that I advise. After giving more than an hour of my time to this conversation I began to consider how important that conversation really was. Not only for his sake but for mine as well. I contemplated this conversation and its meaning over the weekend and came to a conclusion. I am not ready to leave because these moments are why I'm here.
This is the time when students across the world are graduating. These are the times where, as an educator, you are purposely reminded why you do what you do each day. The culmination of all interactions with your students and colleagues has resulted in the march of Pomp and Circumstance and the presence of a new graduate.
Last month a student called to ask if I would be interested in attending his graduation dinner with his entire family and friends. He said that I had been influential in his college experience and wanted me to be a part of his celebration. I was honored and accepted his invitation. His appreciation for the work that I do each day and the understanding that it all has a purpose moved me.
More students will pass through my life. More students will sit comfortably on my couch. More students will remember their experiences and hopefully, think positively of them. More students will graduate. For each moment that was intentional and unintentional I will continue to remember why I am here - because I enjoy what I do on a different level. Whether it's developing a program for students, creating opportunities for them to learn or try something new, or provide a venue for open dialogue where we can learn from one another. I am grateful to have followed this path and arrived to this point in my life.
This epiphany of not only understanding why I am here doing the work that I do and having those I am connected to understand and begin to believe in the work that I do is heavy; especially when you consider the impact you are having on the world. I hope to continue to make a difference and I hope you do as well as we plan for a new year.
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